It Tastes Like Chicken

Last night I somewhat half-followed the meal plan I have written out for my toddler. I made her chicken breast and edamame, and then sliced a couple cherry tomatoes, strawberries, and pepper jack cheese. 

Unbelievably, she ate almost all if it! Well, everything except the tomatoes and edamame, but I ate those. Maybe this toddler feeding thing will improve as time goes on and I get better at cooking and momming, and she gets better at chewing and swallowing. It’s not hopeless after all.

Feeding a Toddler

Almost every day, I think to myself how lucky this baby is to have been breastfed…. otherwise she’d be either completely emaciated or dead. I’m only sort of joking.

I’ve struggled with food for most of my life. I had eating disorders in high school, and have always felt like it was me against food. It’s never been a healthy relationship, period. So now that I have responsibility to feed and nourish this little growing human, I sometimes find myself overwhelmed.

Nevermind the fact that she never wants to eat. Like, never. I cook up a meal for her and she just says “no,” shakes her head and walks away. Or, she puts it in her mouth and acts like she’s eating it, then spits it out on the rug 35 minutes later. She’s a doll. That’s really not the hard part though. It’s sticking to a schedule, planning meals and shopping, remembering that it’s mealtime, etc.

I am an extremely erratic eater, and I will binge out on junk, for example, and then forget that it’s time to make dinner for the baby. Then I’m left scrambling to find something to give her at 7pm when she’s too tired to eat. Or I simply don’t know what to feed her. I’ll shop and then half the food goes bad because I have nearly zero practice with cooking and meal planning.

So this week, I decided to break out MY meal planning journal, and just use it to plan HER meals instead. I found this awesome mommy blog with LOTS of ideas for toddler meals, and I chose a bunch of those for the week, did the shopping, and planned out the week. Tonight, she had veggie sausage, peas, broccoli, and a tiny bit of quesadilla. Mostly sausage and broccoli though. And then she ate some strawberries! I am always super stoked when I find something she likes.

Have any of you struggled with feeding your young toddlers? Or with feeding yourSELVES? What worked for you? Any new solutions would be greatly appreciated. I’m trying out a new recipe for her in a couple days. I’ll update you guys with photos and reviews (from me AND Mia) just as soon as I get it going.

Exercise the Demons

For me, getting my heart pumping every day is more than just a way to maintain my physical fitness level. It’s a way to keep my sanity. It’s hard to fall into depression or negativity when you’re maxing out your heart and muscles every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

Anyway, I always know the depression is creeping back in when I find myself slipping into negativity. My thoughts MAKE my world. They are the lens that I see EVERYTHING through. Whenever this happens, I know I need more exercise. Some people workout to look good. Well, I workout TO STAY SANE.

My eating is also a huge deal. I’m a sugar addict. Not only is this unhealthy, it causes mood swings which, you guessed it, I’m already prone to. So eating fresh veggies and fruit and getting enough protein every day is super important for me. Drinking my daily superfood / vitamin / protein shake shake helps me with curbing the junk food binges and it also fills in the nutritional gaps when I get lazy. But the rest of my diet is up to me and it’s hard.

My biggest motivator, however, is my little girl. I had her when I was 38 years old and realized quickly that I could take one of two paths. I could let myself go‒using the baby as an excuse‒or tone back up and make my health and fitness a priority over the long haul‒making the baby my REASON. As any new mom knows, caring for a baby is a 24/7 job and it is easy to lose yourself in the process. I have always been an avid outdoor enthusiast, from hiking and surfing to camping and biking, but all these things fell to the wayside when I had my baby. I started to see myself moving in a direction I didn’t like and recently I decided to take action. I want to be healthy and active when my daughter is older….I will be 60 years old when she graduates college so I have a very important motivator for staying healthy.

Last fall I took the first step in getting my fitness back on track and I started running online motivation groups to help other ladies get into a healthy lifestyle. More recently, I made it a goal to get certified in nutrition and as a personal trainer because I am in the process of starting my own online (and in-person) fitness and nutrition consulting service. I want to help older mamas like myself (and non-mamas too!) stay healthy and vibrant as we go through our forties and beyond.

I love being active in many different forms because it makes me FEEL GOOD for the rest of the day and curbs the negative feelings and thoughts. I want to share my enthusiasm for active pursuits and the health benefits they confer.

Now it’s your turn! What kind of fitness program do you most enjoy? What areas of your life (cardio, nutrition, mindset, motivation, flexibility, some other area) do you most want to work on? What kind of at-home / online program would you be most likely to join? Comment below or shoot me an email!

Law of Attraction

A couple weeks ago, an old friend of mine snapped on me (long story) and told me to “Go on pretending to be someone you’re not.”

I thought that was ugly. Of course, there are all the obvious arguments, like I haven’t seen him in 12 years, and I was still drinking (and blacking out) intensely when he last saw me, but that’s not even what bothered me about his comment.

The thing that got to me was this: how exactly am I supposed to CHANGE and GROW into a better person without first starting to ACT like the person I want to become? It took me a long time for this idea to click for me….39 years to be exact. I always believed that I was a certain way because that’s the way I had always been. But that’s not true. That’s just the STORY I was telling myself.

Last fall, I joined an online community that really emphasizes personal growth, both physical and mental; immersing myself in the ideas of this community has really changed my thinking.

I don’t want to be the rage-filled, negative Nancy that I’ve been for most of my life. As anyone who has followed me online for more than a few years knows, my posts were anything but sunny a couple years ago. So I’m trying to project positivity now in hopes that my life will change. I have a daughter now. I want to be a good role model for her, not the angry asshole I’ve always been.

So this is why I guess it appears that I’m “pretending to be someone I’m not.” Because I’m in the process of becoming that person. I’m trying a send out positive vibrations rather than negativity in hopes it will come back to me and heal my f-ed up life.